Why I'm in this fight

With any campaign of this sort, you would be right to suspect the motives of the crusader.

So let me present my bona fides in this regard.

I tell people, "I can't keep chocolate in my house, because I can't keep chocolate in my house."

At work, when somebody has chocolates out for people to take, I take all that propriety would deem prudent, and more. This isn't the case with other habit-forming substances and me. For instance, I drink coffee every day, but if I don't have any, I don't actually go steal some. Similarly, I drink alcohol frequently, but if I don't have any, I do without, rather than break into a liquor store.

It's chocolate that does me in, so society must change its ways!