Chapter 14: Forces Coagulate!
A group of lemmings and a group of AGAR AGAR people (formerly "people of the worlds of AGAR AGAR") and even a precocious pair of teenagers witnessed this act and they were awestruck! They fell down on their knees (the lemmings were really good at this) and swore fealty to Incompetence, whether or not Incompetence was into the notion.
Being true to the spirit of their god, they named their cult, "The Clot of Incontinence". And lo! By following the way of their deity, they triumphed over the mindless duplication of AGAR AGAR, for though their ceremonies were simple in the planning, in the execution they were infinite variations of spontaneous interjections of "Oops!" and "Ow!" and "Am I supposed to stand up yet?" and even "That WAS my foot you're standing upon!"
Incompetence said, "Hey, you know, ladies, lemmings, gents and AGARians, I'm really not too good at this sort of thing."
So he tried to convince them to go back to their old ways, and forget about him, but only succeeded in inflaming their worship of him, however clumsy. He resisted the temptation to build rich palaces for his loyal followers, but in the end failed, and accidentally shoved together a tremendous, ugly, bizarre, and exceedingly uncomfortable villa in the middle of nowhere called "Nowheresville." And the Lemmings offered Homage to Lord Incompetence by climbing to the Top of Nowheresville and jumping off.
After he finished eating the locusts, Crow descended on the shoulder of the AGAR AGAR clone, and said unto him,
"Heeeey, AGAR! AWK! Hadn't you better get back to creating copies? Every picosecond or so, each of your worlds becomes unique again, nowadays. Anyway, your shoelace is untied."
At which the clone of mighty AGAR AGAR looked down at the firmament. "CAW! Made you look! Rah ha ha ha! You don't even... ha ha ha.. don't even.. ha ha.."
At this point, a man with a guitar walked up, playing the blues. "Tell me, what are you laughin' at, y'ole bird?" Sang the man. "Ha ha he he he doesn't even have sh.. sh.. sh..."
"I say, what's that you're laughin' at, you old crow?" He sang. "No shoes! AH ha ha ha ha ha."
"Well, you can laugh all you want, but I ain't goin'a laugh with you. Heh heh heh..." Sang the man. Then he stopped, introduced himself to AGAR who was still fuming, and Crow. "Name's Muddy. Muddy Waters. Pleasure to me you, Mr. AGAR. I come a long way, jest to see what I can find." And here he broke back into song. "But NOTHING, no lord, not a single thing, could have ever prepared me for today." And he struck a chord.
"Mmmmm!" Chimed in an approaching voice. "That's a mean... a mean..."Guitar" Muddy supplied.
"Mean guitar you play, Muddy. Name's Goron. I'd like to invite you all over for dinner, 'sevenin. I'm live roasting some animals I created the other day, and we can sit, drink some wine, maybe invite some of the other gods, get a few things settled. What do you say?"